Loneliness

I spend too many years and time with old people. I became like them. And forgot the young person I was. I hate old people. I totally hate all of them. I need a young face, a pair of young eyes in whom I realize these last drops of the bloody precious youth I am living out. God! I don't want to get old like this in loneliness. Is this my lot here?

There are times in which being lonely becomes almost unbearable. Moments that I am longing most and at the same time am totally left helpless in the face of facts: my limitations, weakness and basically this very person that I am(I dig into my memories again and I see that perhaps every single opportunity had no other way but to be wasted). And every time the next thing is this understanding that for me there is no other way but giving back to people, to existence whatever am looking for, whatever has been given to me for free in life. Every time I go through this pain I come to this conclusion.